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Text File
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1995-06-17
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931b
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32 lines
TOP TEN SIGNS YOU'RE ADDICTED TO CAFFEINE
10. Haven't slept since the Johnson Administration
9. Your next-door neighbors often call to complain about the sound of
your chattering teeth
8. Instead of Tic Tacs, you suck on No-Doz
7. You named your twins "Cappuccino" and "Espresso"
6. On the way to work you get pulled over for speeding and you don't
even have your car
5. You kill a guy for trying to switch your regular coffee with
Folgers Crystals
4. You wake up in middle of the night screaming "Pepsi! For the love
of God, I need Pepsi!"
3. When a Maxwell House commercial comes on, you actually lick the TV
screen
2. You drink so much coffee it starts shooting out your ears like our
stage manager Biff Henderson
1. You're shaking like Michael Jackson on his wedding night
Letterman, Monday, May 29, 1995, Originally broadcast 10/7/94
Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995